The Harsh Truth

Write down your biggest problem right now. This sounds like a simple exercise, but it’s actually kind of hard! Then ask yourself, is this a fact? Did this really happen? Or did your feelings and thoughts embellish your problem? It did not take long for me to realize how I have done this many times in my life.

Have you ever asked God to please pull you out of the pit of pain? If not, I sure hope you’re counting your blessings every day! I called out to Him this morning!

I did not start this Bible study publicly so people would pity me, or to get anyone’s attention. Actually, that’s not wholly true. I do seek the attention of people who are feeling similarly as I do—people who, for whatever reason, want to break free of fear and pain!

If you’re wondering why I feel the need to do this, it is because over my 47 years of feeling pain I have witnessed heart-wrenching heartache. I have witnessed a kind of emotional pain that is so crippling it leads some people to stop living. Some people literally give up on life. I don’t want anyone to ever feel this way again!

The power of one’s heart and soul is extraordinary! Everyone thinks that your mind controls what we do, but I don’t believe that to be true. I think your heart controls your mind! It is so easy to believe what we feel, instead of what is really true!

Addressing my pain is going to help me control my fear. I realized that self-sabotage was the way I fueled my fear!

The way Havilah breaks it down in her study has been so eye-opening for me! Truly going deep down in your heart and dealing with things that control your negative behaviors is one of the hardest things anyone can do. Recognizing the harsh truth of my negative behaviors has made it easy for me to seek a different approach.

My heart and soul is excited to change my mind! I love that I am feeling accomplished and hopeful God creates purpose out of pain! I will not pass on my suffering, I will pass on my wisdom! #amen

If you take anything away from this blog today- please at least listen to Havilah’s video from Day 10 of – I DO HARD THINGS

Havilah is truly a God-given gift sent to me right now! I seriously wish I could’ve given her a hug today! I’m learning to see things for what they are. Adjusting my reality to what is and less of what might be.

Love Kathy <3




There was a time when I would think about all the things that the adults in my life did not give me, and my soul would weep with sadness. That sadness turned to sorrow when I realized I had done the same exact thing to my own children. There were so many things I needed to know that no one taught me; things that would have changed the way I saw myself and lived my life. No one ever taught me about person hood or womanhood or parenthood; love or sex; vision or purpose. I did learn to keep my body and home clean. I learned to make the best of what I had, and did not dare dream about having more. I also learned how to avoid, ignore, and dismiss the truth. If only I had been raised by adults, instead of wounded children, maybe—just maybe—my path would have been less traumatic. Then again, I’ve learned we all get exactly what we need, when we need it, in order to learn what God intends for us to know so we can be who God intends for us to be.” – Iyanla Vanzant ❤️ #powerful

If you’d like to order Havilah’s book – I Do Hard Things, or you can follow along through audio lesson please CLICK HERE
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Kathy Finlan